One of the most recent surveys to delve into the sex lives of Scots [...] found that 90 per cent of Scots said they were open and non-judgmental, with most engaging in sexual activity on average 29 times a month.

According to reports in Moscow, Vladimir Putin is poised to jettison his wife Lyudmila Putina (her surname is now believed to be a contraction of "Putina-divorce-settlement- dacha-in-Sochi- under-heavy-guard- and-left-to-rot-ovichskaya") in order to marry a certain Alina Kabaeva.

Ms Kabaeva – and this is just too good to be true – is a 25-year-old rhythmic gymnast, so fire off your own gags at will. All I'm prepared to say, at least until I've located the family Geiger counter, is that not since Catherine the Great's horse last dangled from its Imperial Palace winch can the partner of a Russian leader have been expected to carry the amorous burden to such a degree.

The BNP has withdrawn one of its London Assembly candidates after he reportedly wrote that it was a "myth" that rape was a serious crime. [...]

Mr [Nicholas] Eriksen [not a very British-sounding name - E] was the author of a far-right blog on which he had written: "Rape is simply sex. Women enjoy sex, so rape cannot be such a terrible ordeal.

"To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is like suggesting that force-feeding a woman chocolate cake is a heinous offence. A woman would be more inconvenienced by having her handbag snatched."

In a statement on the BNP website, the party said Mr Eriksen had "taken responsibility and unlike other politicians faced with similar circumstances has acted swiftly and honourably to resolve this matter".

It said: "It was felt that no matter how much Nick Eriksen's blog comments, written back in 2005, had been distorted and taken out of the context of a blog which reflected our tough stance on all sorts of crime, they could still be perceived as trivialising the issue in a manner that many women in particular could have found extremely offensive."

Brits take an average of 22 dates, three one-night stands and three long-term relationships before settling down, says a new poll. Couples revealed how long it had taken to find The One for entertainment website BT PodShow.

Some needed as many as 50 dates with potential partners. And nine per cent reckon it takes at least ten one-night stands.

Talking regularly and an active sex life were what people were looking for. Poor personal hygiene, no sense of humour and being bad in bed were the biggest turn-offs, the poll found.

The good news for those still searching is this weekend is the best chance of the year to banish those single days.

Relationship expert Jo Hemmings said: "The four-day Bank Holiday gives us double the free time of a normal weekend, so double the chances to enjoy ourselves and find love. And the onset of spring, a full moon and an abundance of chocolate Easter eggs will all play their part."

After the text messages appeared in the press, the live-in partners of both women threw them out.

"Hooters" is American slang for breasts and the waitresses wear white vests and orange hotpants.

But [Scottish Labour deputy leader Cathy] Jamieson said: "Scotland does not want these so-called restaurants coming to our cities.

"Violence against women is a big problem in Scotland and these types of establishments do nothing to promote equality or positive images of women in the workplace.

"Hooters is a rather old-fashioned 1980s concept. I think both men and women have moved on from this kind of quite degrading spectacle."

A spokeswoman for Scottish Women's Aid said: "A company that not only promotes but demands the objectification of women in the workplace should have no place in Scotland."

"Hooters girls have the same right to use their natural female sex appeal to earn a living as do supermodels Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell.

"To Hooters, the women's rights movement is important because it guarantees women have the right to choose their own careers, be it a supreme court justice or Hooters girl."

The prostitute at the centre of New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's sex scandal has been named by US media.

The woman, named in court papers as Kristen, is Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the New York Times reported.

Ms Dupre, 22, told the Times she did not want "to be thought of as a monster".

[...] she did the popular lefty women's thing at the time and kept her pubic hair au naturel.

Such was the density of her lower thatch, which can be imagined from the luxuriant black barnet on her head, and given the location of her choice of tertiary education, she was known as "Thetford Forest"...

Yu Zhenhuan, 29, confirmed: "We got to know each other through the internet, and had been seeing each other for three years. Unfortunately our relationship has come to an end."

And he added: "My whole body is covered with hair, and my parents are worried I won't be able to find a wife. Many girls are shocked when they see me in person.

"I feel like King Kong, hideous, but with a soft and tender heart," he told Zhejiang Online.

She's called Smurfette and she was created as a solitary female temptation for the Smurfs.

But, after 50 years of being the only blue girl in town, Smurfette is about to get some girl power company. The owner of the rights to the gnomes says there aren't enough ladies in Smurf land.

As a result, a computer-animated 3D film, released later this year to mark the Smurfing half century, will contain 'a greater female presence'. [...]

Hendrik Coysman, who runs the Smurf rights holder IMPS, explained the sudden rise of girl power in Smurf land. 'There have been dramatic changes in sociocultural values in the past 20 to 25 years. One of these is girl empowerment,' he said. 'So, there will be a greater female presence in the Smurf village and this will be a basis for new stories.'

An artificial intelligence expert claims we will be having sex with robots by 2050. David Levy says by then robots will be nearly indistinguishable from real people.

In his book, Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships, he writes: "Great sex on tap for everyone, 24/7. What's not to like?"

According to Levy, the people who are most likely to benefit from these sexbots are those so ugly or isolated that they have trouble finding human romance.

He said: "They're lonely, they're miserable. I think society will be a much better place when they have an alternative that satisfies them without doing any harm to other people.

"If there was a robot of the sort I describe in the book, I would certainly want to experience using it for sex and I wouldn't regard it as anything untoward.

"I would do it out of curiosity. Not that I have a need for a new sex partner, I'm happily married."

"I said I was the victim of the mother of all stitch-ups," he said.

"I don't think there is anyone in Scotland who can doubt that this has been an attempted stitch-up from day one."

"But it's a stitch-up that has unravelled. I say here today that the News of the World have tried to produce, in collusion with others, dodgy minutes, dodgy tapes and dodgy geezers to make allegations against me." [...]

However, Mr Sheridan did not stop at the Murdoch press, but cited "sinister forces" at work. "I would not be surprised if the state is involved," he said. "The state has a fine history of trying to destabilise and undermine socialist movements or trade union struggles. When the history of this whole episode is written about, I think you'll find that MI5 was involved."

Speaking outside a police station where he was held, Mr Sheridan, 43, vowed to prove his innocence, claiming he was the victim of a "witch-hunt". Mr Sheridan, had been held in Edinburgh during searches of his Glasgow house.

His lawyer, Aamer Anwar, said Mr Sheridan condemned the "excessive actions" of police.

"I believe I am the victim of a political witch-hunt," he said. "I believe this whole farcical enquiry which has usurped an incredible amount of public resources, was orchestrated and influenced by the powerful reach of the Murdoch empire."

While thanking those who had given him and his family support, he vowed: "This battle goes on, however long it takes to prove my name."

The Institute for Women in Spain said yesterday that it would complain to Irish and EU authorities over a Ryanair charity calendar featuring female flight attendants wearing bikinis.

The 2008 calendar - called the Girls of Ryanair - shows 12 flight attendants posing inside and outside planes. April is represented by "Nicola from Stansted", who appears in a bikini bottom, covering her modesty with a lifejacket.

Ryanair has defended the £5 calendar in aid of the disabled children's charity Angels Quest, saying none of the women had been forced to pose. "We are just protecting women's rights to take their clothes off," a spokeswoman told Reuters.