Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Straw Biggs himself up


I hold no brief for Ronnie Biggs, let alone the anti-Iraq war brigade - there's an opening sentence for you - but I can't help thinking the FT's Sue Cameron is on to something here:

Sentenced to 30 years for the 1963 robbery, he escaped to enjoy 36 years of freedom, mainly in Brazil, before returning voluntarily to Britain in 2001. Mr Biggs, who was not involved in coshing the train driver, has now served a third of his sentence and was recommended for parole. He was due out this month.

Jack Straw, justice secretary, keen to look tough on crime, has refused to let him out because he is “wholly unrepentant”. This raises several questions. How repentant is Mr Straw, who was foreign secretary at the time of the Iraq war, about his mistakes?

No surprises there, of course; Straw is exactly the sort of greasy, careerist dickwad who would get his rocks off from striking bodybuilding poses over the prostrated body of an emaciated pensioner. But wouldn't it be wonderful if, just for once, our lords and masters were subjected to the same quotidian humiliations that they are so keen to visit on their constituents? Lie detector tests, on-the-spot fines, ID card checks and HMRC audits? "Repentant? No? Another month in the hole for you, then, fucknut!"

Nor does all the cuntwash have a purely Labour stench. I see that Chris Grayling - nominally, at least, a Conservative - is suggesting that antisocial citizens have their mobiles confiscated in order to encourage them to behave:

“If we are to deter potential troublemakers, the consequences they face have to be relevant to the lives they lead and to be immediate. Otherwise why would they stop what they are doing?” he said.

How very true, Chris. And yet almost every MP that has stolen from us intends to remain in situ until the next election, spending my money on vats of asses' milk from John Lewis in which to bathe their wives/diary secretaries, when in any civilised country they'd be breaking rocks in a fucking quarry under the watchful eyes of a horsewhip-wielding Klingon guard.

I've really had enough of these parasitical mouth-breathers. Words can't express my contempt, however hard I try. Time to cut our losses, people. Put out a couple of troughs of baked beans in the Commons canteen and make them sleep in rusting iron beds on a fucking Titan prison ship moored off the Isle of Dogs. I hate these people more than rotting broccoli.

Labels:


// posted by Mr Eugenides on 15.7.09
Comments:
"I've really had enough of these parasitical mouth-breathers. "

'You and us both!'

The British People

# posted by Blogger JuliaM : 15 July 2009 19:17
 
You are possessed of a quite wonderful turn of phrase Mr.E...

Your rage calms me,speaks for me...

Wonderful post!

# posted by Anonymous Jives : 16 July 2009 13:25
 
Straw is exactly the sort of greasy, careerist dickwad who would get his rocks off from striking bodybuilding poses over the prostrated body of an emaciated pensioner.

Amen.

# posted by Blogger James Higham : 16 July 2009 13:38
 
Nowadays you can train to become an MP (YouTube), apparently...

# posted by Anonymous Friday Night Smoke : 16 July 2009 15:00
 
I had to come back here and am lifting huge chunks of this for a post on invective. This one was classic, impecunious sir.

# posted by Blogger James Higham : 16 July 2009 20:20
 
All I remember about Straw during the lead up to the Iraq War was him sniffing around Condie like a dog with two dicks. Then he changed his specs for lenses and ended up shaking Mugabe's hand.

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 16 July 2009 22:37
 
Straw was presenting whatever the equivalent of the CBE is for foreigners to Gerard Houlier (did I spell that right? I fucking hate football) and Arsene Wenger. All in some posh room deep in the FCO. Straw made a few cringing remarks in French (!) and the awards were presented. Wenger began his thanks thus (adopt comedy french accent) 'Fortunately, my English is better than Mr Straw's French..'
Nice. Straw is a cunt. Yeah, and a fucking unrepentant hypocrite. Fuck him.

# posted by Anonymous Jeffy : 17 July 2009 17:37
 
Perhaps we could ship 'em out to Afghanistan, where the Taliban might be good enough to shoot 'em?

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