Thursday, 2 October 2008
"I’ve had to talk my way past an AK47 once or twice."
I'm deeply in the debt of Scottish Tory Boy for alerting me to this gem from Wednesday's super soaraway Scottish Sun. Features writer Matt Bendoris has gone to Holyrood to meet the new leader of Scottish Labour, but little does Iain Gray realise that he's about to be on the end of a hatchet job...
LABOUR chief Iain Gray is halfway through a very long and boring tale when I lose the will to live.
We meet in the Scottish Parliament. Gray is wearing a sober, dark blue suit and Labour standard-issue red tie.
He’s about 5ft 11in, with a silvery thatch and square Desperate Dan jaw.
The East Lothian MSP was the surprise choice earlier this month as Labour’s new Scottish leader, taking over from the disgraced Wendy Alexander.
A surprise because frankly he’s a bit dull. Gray by name, grey by nature.
"That’s when I feel the life draining out of me...", "Jeez, will this ever end?"... you get the gist. Our Matt is far from impressed with the luckless cipher in front of him; I really do urge you to enjoy the whole piece in full.
But Iain's not to know this yet; the furious stand-up row with his hapless press officer, at which I would have loved to be a fly on the wall, is presumably still a day or two in the future. Instead, he bores on for Scotland, a catalogue of tedium spewing forth from that instantly forgettable face, his CV a veritable Who's Who of human misery and oppression:
The former teacher and Oxfam campaigner adds: "Look, I’ve been all around the world. To the killing fields of Cambodia, to Rwanda after the genocide.
A more apposite pair of metaphors for Scottish Labour in its current state would be hard to imagine.
"I also worked for two years in Mozambique during the civil war and I was in Chile three days after the bloody protests against General Pinochet."
Sounds to me like you're a fucking jinx, Iain.
"I’ve had to talk my way past an AK47 once or twice."
My big fat Greek arse you have. The closest you've ever come to mortal danger is using the bog straight after Andy Kerr, and you fucking know it.
Why do politicians insist on spoon-feeding us this appalling guff?
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Fantastic stuff from our host as well as Bendoris.
I suspect the attitude of the Scottish Labour press office played a part in this glorious stitch up. A reminder, perhaps, that things have changed and they'd better start sucking up to journalists.
Oh, and since it's Iain Gray..
Giggity giggity goo!
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I suspect the attitude of the Scottish Labour press office played a part in this glorious stitch up. A reminder, perhaps, that things have changed and they'd better start sucking up to journalists.
Oh, and since it's Iain Gray..
Giggity giggity goo!
<< Home
