Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Gove goes Nuts
Michael Gove:
I believe we need to ask tough questions about the instant-hit hedonism celebrated by the modern men's magazines targetted at younger males. Titles such as Nuts and Zoo paint a picture of women as permanently, lasciviously, uncomplicatedly available. The images they use and project reinforce a very narrow conception of beauty and a shallow approach towards women. They celebrate thrill-seeking and instant gratification without ever allowing any thought of responsibility towards others, or commitment, to intrude.
1. Men do not like tits because they buy Zoo. Men buy Zoo because they like tits.
We can demonstrate this by means of a simple thought experiment. Zoo was launched in 2004. Hands up if you ever thought about tits before then. Yes, one hand will do.
2. To put it at its most brutally, many women [and men] are permanently, lasciviously and uncomplicatedly available. Has Michael Gove ever been to Magaluf or Faliraki? This is far from being an attractive trait, but to blame Zoo and Nuts for the rampant rutting of your average British teenager is like blaming swallows for the crappy summer. They merely hold up a mirror to our occasionally rather ugly society.
3. "Instant-hit hedonism", uncomplicatedness, shallowness and irresponsibility do not mark men's mags out from the rest of the media; on the contrary, those traits are common to much mass-market media nowadays, from movies through TV to papers and magazines. Which leads us nicely into...
The contrast with the work done by women's magazines, and their publishers, to address their readers in a mature and responsible fashion, is striking.
This is where it all starts to go wrong for Mikey. By way of illustration, let us turn to this month's Cosmo, which among its other delights ("the Cosmosutra", "Boyfriend Wars - who is the hottest boyfriend?") offers women "Blow Job Brownie Points":
The ultimate blow job features five key elements: warmth, wetness, eagerness, repetition and at least one surprise manoeuvre. Let Cosmo show you how to perfect this winning combo and your mouth will be his favourite place on the planet...
Thank God for Cosmo. No, really. If they are shifting thousands of copies every month by teaching girls to give me better head, then they are without question serving a more useful function than Michael Gove. And at least, unlike him, they are not hypocrites.
I have a lot of time for the Govester, generally speaking; this sort of sanctimonious twaddle, though, does him little credit.
Labels: Hacks, Nanny state, Tories
Comments:
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What woman needs to read Cosmo to give good head? I'll warrant it's not any better after reading those selection of 'top tips'
I'm beginning to believe that they are really all the same.
What with the other prat's holiday reading list (calling Simpson a snotty Lower Sixth prefect so incensed Dale he didn't publish the comment) comprising books on politics, politics and , err, more politics, you really do wonder if they ever talk to any normal human being.
What with the other prat's holiday reading list (calling Simpson a snotty Lower Sixth prefect so incensed Dale he didn't publish the comment) comprising books on politics, politics and , err, more politics, you really do wonder if they ever talk to any normal human being.
"Hands up if you ever thought about tits before then. Yes, one hand will do."
Lol!
"...you really do wonder if they ever talk to any normal human being."
Only when they want their vote...
Lol!
"...you really do wonder if they ever talk to any normal human being."
Only when they want their vote...
Quite. As far as I am aware, base human sexuality has been around for a lot longer than the wonderfully named "Nut". And I know quite a bit about base human sexuality.
Oh, and thanks for getting me to think about tits at work. That always goes well.
Oh, and thanks for getting me to think about tits at work. That always goes well.
Excellent point about Cosmo etc. They are perhaps more tastefully done than the Nuts and Zoos of this world, but the intimations are all still there.
A quick glance at those tips reveals this gem:
If you find the taste of male emissions a tad bitter, take your man's penis deeper into your mouth when he's ready to explode. Most of our taste buds are at the front of the tongue, so you will be subject to less, er, flavour with this technique
It seems all woman MUST swallow according to Cosmo. Not exactly empowering the sisterhood are they!
A quick glance at those tips reveals this gem:
If you find the taste of male emissions a tad bitter, take your man's penis deeper into your mouth when he's ready to explode. Most of our taste buds are at the front of the tongue, so you will be subject to less, er, flavour with this technique
It seems all woman MUST swallow according to Cosmo. Not exactly empowering the sisterhood are they!
Am I the only one to lament the days when a blow job was the ultimate expression of sexual regard by a woman for a man? These days - I am led to believe - a blow job is part of the small change of sexual behaviour and is often a precursor to the exchange of names of the participants. What has taken its place at the head (as it were) of sexual practice?
Umbongo, you raise a very interesting question. I'm sure many of us would like a job where we had to find the answer...
Trixy, I hesitate to offer criticism to such a good friend of Mr Eugenides, but really: if a man had written "What man needs to read Cosmo to know how to give a woman an orgasm?" wouldn't you think that a little blinkered? Still, I commend your confidence!
To be slightly fair to Gove, he does say lads' mags reinforce certain attitudes - he stops well short of saying they created them in the first place.
Trixy, I hesitate to offer criticism to such a good friend of Mr Eugenides, but really: if a man had written "What man needs to read Cosmo to know how to give a woman an orgasm?" wouldn't you think that a little blinkered? Still, I commend your confidence!
To be slightly fair to Gove, he does say lads' mags reinforce certain attitudes - he stops well short of saying they created them in the first place.
Good point re: the women's magazines, Mr E. I suppose they don't get the same attention as Nuts, etc because they don't have pictures of guys with massive cocks hanging out on the front cover. So politicians have less opportunity to make cheap political points from them.
"What man needs to read Cosmo to know how to give a woman an orgasm?"
Female orgasms? Whatever next? I refuse to believe in the existence of such an unlikely thing.
Female orgasms? Whatever next? I refuse to believe in the existence of such an unlikely thing.
A woman is "pretty", and "sexy", because the male hominid is supposed to be able to have an orgasm inside her tummy, having sucessfully penetrated her, wil her permission (assumed, these days). If he does not, then there are no babies.
End of species, end of story, end of Cosmo etc.
Men are not "pretty" and "sexy" for there is no biological need for this state of affairs. They are the sex which has to be stimulated, by "Nuts" or "Zoo" or whatever rag contains images their brains can relate to while shagging someone they may love but don't fancy, so they can produce sperm, and a baby can result.
Women, and especially Western neo-liberal Anglosphere women, do not and cannot ever begin to separate sex from love, which is an abiding tragedy, and which may have some bad roots in feminazism, or it may not. That is why "Victorian" ladies decided that it was best to "lie back and think of England" (or the head-gardener, or anyone else they knew.)
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End of species, end of story, end of Cosmo etc.
Men are not "pretty" and "sexy" for there is no biological need for this state of affairs. They are the sex which has to be stimulated, by "Nuts" or "Zoo" or whatever rag contains images their brains can relate to while shagging someone they may love but don't fancy, so they can produce sperm, and a baby can result.
Women, and especially Western neo-liberal Anglosphere women, do not and cannot ever begin to separate sex from love, which is an abiding tragedy, and which may have some bad roots in feminazism, or it may not. That is why "Victorian" ladies decided that it was best to "lie back and think of England" (or the head-gardener, or anyone else they knew.)
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