Shame (n.)

(1) emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, or disgrace

(2) Capacity for such a feeling, eg. "Have you no shame?"


Regular visitors to these pages will have me marked down as something of a cynic; I wouldn’t dream of denying it. When I smell flowers, I look around for the funeral. Apparently, it’s cynical attitudes like mine that are corroding the trust between politicians and the public, not the quotidian diet of doublespeak, evasion, mendacity and steaming horseshit on which we are force-fed. Well, if pointing out lies and fingering the lying liars that tell them is a capital offence, then build my gallows high, for I’m guilty as charged.

But stop, before you leave me swinging from the gibbet, and ponder if the nation might not be better served by putting someone else up here in my place. Take, for the sake of example, ooh, a figure plucked entirely at random; let’s say the man pictured below.




As hardened a cynic as I am, I have to confess to being taken aback by the sheer brazenness of this badger-faced cunt’s performance today. On Sunday - just 48 hours ago - I wrote:

The same could apply to another noted Brown tendency, that of political jackdawism (if that’s a word) – rubbishing opposition policies when they’re announced, then picking the shiniest ones to feather his own nest. Expect something along these lines to happen with the status of the “non-doms” over the next few months, as well as IHT thresholds and stamp duty.

Nothing clever about that; every blogger and hack in the land had similar thoughts. But even I didn’t think it would take all of 8 days for them to filch these proposals. I am absolutely gobsmacked at the shamelessness of these people.

Of course, half of today’s proposals are smoke and mirrors – they always are with Brown budgets. (And don’t be fooled; it was Brown’s Budget. It may have been Alistair Darling’s lips that moved in the Commons, but without the help of a latex glove, a tub of KY jelly and Gordon’s stout forearm, he’d have been as lifeless as Sooty at Harry Corbett’s funeral.) This is a tax-raising budget, just like all the others before. The ‘doubling’ of IHT allowances for married couples so dutifully reported by the BBC turns out to be garbage; most couples in this bracket can already arrange their affairs so as to avoid an IHT penalty anyway, as KPMG have pointed out today. And the same non-doms who last week, according to the preposterous Darling, were penniless Filipino nurses who couldn’t afford £25,000 for the Tory levy, are now going to pay £30,000 a head for the privilege. Let's face it, the only way he could have shown any more contempt for our intelligence was to set the tax at £25,001.

Contempt is the watchword here. Go back and watch the highlights from today’s debate; the smirk on Bottler’s face as his creature Darling announced what, on the face of it, was the very set of policies they’ve been trashing for a week, would in a just world wipe 100 Labour seats off the map at the next election. It may yet. They may think they've neutralised the immediate danger, but the longer term peril is of being seen as every bit as calculating, every bit as mendacious and spinning as the Blair regime. In fact, I'd say that will now be the prevailing narrative. New politics? Don't make me fucking laugh. Allow me, once again, the lazy blogger's prerogative of quoting from myself, from Sunday:

This could play both ways. Yes, it might neutralize the issue on the doorsteps and take away a Tory trump card – but, on the other hand, it feeds into the image of Brown as a mere political calculator, playing with the tax system - and by extension, people's livelihoods - to manipulate the polls.

All politicians do this, of course, but the lesson here is that if the Tories can put the government on the defensive over issues like inheritance tax, then they can do it in other areas, too. And if, in doing so, they can force U-turns and climbdowns (however skilfully the government may attempt to disguise them), they reinforce the idea that the government's agenda is ruled by partisan electoral considerations, not principle.

People talk about the opportunism of the Tories, but be in no doubt about one thing; at least raising middle-class households out of inheritance tax is something they actually fucking believe. You will not meet a Tory who didn’t agree with Osborne’s announcement last week.

Contrast that with the foetid obscenities who inhabit the government benches and the dichotomy is a stark one. These are the same people that have been fucking you up the arse for the last ten years. Now they’re offering a lemon-scented towelette for you to wipe the semen from your thighs, and they expect gratitude. Oh, and for the avoidance of doubt: you’re paying for the fucking towelette, too.