Wednesday, 18 July 2007

That leaked Harry Potter ending in full


"...but when Harry clicked on the link, expecting to have the final mystery revealed to him, all he found instead was a disinterested blogger phoning in boilerplate jokes about 'seeing Hermione's Chamber of Secrets' in a half-hearted attempt to divert some passing Google traffic to his site.

Disgusted, he turned off his computer and sat motionless at the desk, cursing the anonymous blogger for wasting his valuable time, but not once pausing to consider the irony that he had wasted the last ten years of his life reading and re-reading a series of fucking children's books, despite being 33. Maybe it was time to get a life, he reflected. Maybe he should pick up the phone and give Cho a call. It had been a while, but maybe there was still something there between them. At any rate, it was time to grow up and try to cultivate some human relationships at last. It was time to stop pretending to be a fucking wizard.

Then his eyes lighted on the copy of FHM on the floor, still open to the Emma Watson photoshoot between pages 64 and 70. He felt the half-blood begin to throb inside his trousers.

What was the spell again? Ah yes.

'Aguamenti!' "

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// posted by Mr Eugenides on 18.7.07
Comments:
Good work Mr. E. Certainly made me chuckle.

# posted by Blogger Panenka's Chip : 18 July 2007 11:52
 
You're wasted on blogging, Mr. E.

# posted by Blogger Lord Straf-Bilderberg : 18 July 2007 13:03
 
My God man, that's dangerous ground....!

I opened up your page, read your title and then threw myself onto the floor to avoid finding out this cherished ending.

Halfway towards the floor I realised I spotted the name "FHM" in your text and realised (too late) it was a funny ending.

I'm sure the limping will stop soon....

# posted by Blogger Jeff : 18 July 2007 15:17
 
I seem to be just a bit too old to get the Harry Potter obsession: several friends plan on parties and fancy dress for when the final installment goes on sale. I can think of several reasons for indulging in dressing up in strange costumes, but the purchase of a kid's book isn't one of them.

# posted by Anonymous Witchibus : 18 July 2007 15:24
 
Mr E, your labelling is wrong: should be "Self-abuse" and Entertainment, methinks... or would that be tautologous? ;-)

# posted by Anonymous Rhadamant : 18 July 2007 17:21
 
At the ripe old age of 54, I only buy them for the kids; and they can have the latest one just as soon as I've finished reading it.:)

Robert

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 18 July 2007 17:24
 
In years to come, I think the Potter phenomenon will be studied alongside Hitler's hypnotic hold over the German populace. How's that for Godwin's Law?

# posted by Anonymous Antipholus Papps : 24 July 2007 16:57
 
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